One Spouse Wants Vengeance
Another delay surfaces when one of the parties feels wronged or angry. They see themselves as the "victim," and they want the court to know they have been victimized. These spouses don't care if the case takes a long time; they just want the judge to know how bad their partner is.
They count on the judge sharing their outrage and making the other party suffer, but this is just wishful thinking on their part. The judge is not going to declare who the victim is, and then punish the wrongdoer spouse in the town square for all the neighbors to see.
Seeking vengeance in the court system takes too long, costs too much, and usually hurts us just as much as it hurts the person we want to hurt. All it does is make it harder for the parties to reach a settlement.
Most aggrieved partners do not take kindly to the fact that the court cannot consider misconduct as a factor in determining monetary or property awards.
It is asking a lot to expect an early settlement if one of the parties persists in entertaining unrealistic, though perhaps understandable, expectations about what the legal system will actually do for them.
The judge does not compensate the victim spouse for the other spouse's bad behavior. Our divorce courts follow only the facts and the law. They do not take our hurt feelings or need for vengeance into account.
Divorce courts are not criminal courts and have neither the luxury nor the inclination to punish a spouse for behaving improperly toward his or her partner.
