Eighth in a series of one-on-one spousal divorce settlement tips.
Do not be confrontational. You goal is to make a settlement, not an enemy. Forget saying things like, "That's not what happened and you know it" or "Maybe you should have considered these things before you took up with that tramp," or "I'd rather go to jail than pay you a dime."
No snotty remarks. Do not respond to something your spouse says with a remark like "Whatever" or "Do what you want." Nobody wants to hear a flippant retort when they are struggling to make a point.
Avoid angry threats. Don't say, "I'll quit my job, and then what'll you have?" or "I'm going for full custody" or "that's it, I'm through talking to you. I'm hiring a Doberman for a lawyer and you're going to regret ever being born."
Don't expect sympathy from your spouse. Your spouse definitely expects to get sympathy from you, not the other way around.
Don't offer interpretations of your spouse's behavior. Forget statements like, "you weren't calling to talk to the kids. You were just checking to see if I was at home."
Don't judge or impose your values upon your spouse. Avoid statements like, "a decent person wouldn't do what you did" or "maybe the children should know that their father/mother has no morals."
