When divorce cases end up in court, they are by definition adversarial situations. Divorce courts are part of the civil justice system. Since this system is adversarial, so are the divorce courts.
The thesaurus associates these words with adversarial: hostile, antagonistic, conflicting, opposing, nail-biting, nerve-racking, scary, intimidating, menacing, frightening, chilling, macabre, terrifying, bloodcurdling.
Because the U.S. Constitution prohibits taking someone's property without due process of law, a divorce case, like other civil court matters, essentially requires an adversarial approach. The legal system's traditional rigid culture and formality add all sorts of apprehension and anxiety to an already combustible mix. This happens even when the divorce papers do not place blame on either party.
The role of the court is to conduct a trial to determine which partner will get their way. This requires both sides to gear up for trial, routinely spending months and lots of money preparing for something that probably won't happen.
With a trial on the horizon, an excruciating experience becomes more excruciating. One side will win and one side will lose. The brutal truth about a divorce case that goes to the adversarial arena of a trial court is that no one wins. Everyone loses.
Cooperate, collaborate, or mediate - do not litigate.
