This is the third post in a series of posts that reveal how judges, lawyers, mediators, and other divorce insiders settle their own divorces quickly and without having to fight it out in court.
Don't talk too much.
Bite your tongue and permit your spouse to speak more than you do. No one has ever prevailed in one-on-one spousal settlement discussions by speaking. You prevail by listening.
Your spouse doesn't care what you think and explaining your side will only aggravate them. Stating your position (without the benefit of knowing how professional negotiators do it) is counterproductive and is the leading cause of divorce wars. You cannot successfully negotiate with anyone until you know what they're thinking, and you cannot know what they're thinking until you listen to them.
You must convince your spouse that you heard every word they said. The best way to do this is to let them do most of the talking.
Impatient people make bad deals.
Fight the temptation to become impatient when your divorce starts to take longer than you think it should. The legal system runs on its own schedule, so expect "unnecessary" delays, and don't let them wear you down. Impatience is likely to cause you to settle for less.
